Shortly after writing the previous entry, I went to bed. After laying in bed for around 15 minutes, my heart started racing.
I sat up, still getting worse.
I woke up my girlfriend and asked her to rub my back to help me calm down. It worked, for a short time...
I laid back in bed for another 5 minutes, suddenly my chest started getting warm, I was getting light headed and a feeling of absolute dread. Am I dying?
I stood up, darkness over taking my vision. I quickly stumbled to the washroom where I immediately emptied my stomach into a nearby bucket.
My girlfriend was rubbing my back, coaching me on breathing. I haven't had an anxiety attack in over 10 years. This was not new, but it was not familiar either.
Over the next couple of weeks, my anxiety was steady. I ended up going to the hospital on March 9th with another severe anxiety attack. My limps were numbing, my head was cloudy and my chest was heavy.
I spent over 8 hours at that hospital and had blood work done. When the Doctor came in and told me everything came back clean, I couldn't believe my anxiety could do this to me. It was the absolutely worse pain and feeling the world. I had to take a week off work to try and figure my body out.
Anxiety is not a joke, and it is definitely not made-up. The mind is a very powerful tool, and we have to learn to control it, and not let it control us. If you suffer from Anxiety, know that you are not alone. I could not say what was the cause of my attacks, but I can say that talking to someone and having someone there helps significantly.
If you suffer from Anxiety, feel free to share your story with me. Communication and laughter are the absolute best medicines.
Signed, Alex Boddam