Rants in the Key of Darkness 1 | 03-20-2015

What Nationality are you? Where do you come from? What's your Background? Why are you here?

Ok, so I might not hear the last one quite as frequently, but working in the convenience industry, these are questions I hear from people every day, and it comes off as rude and ignorant. Note: I did not say white people, as this seems to be a question from all races. It boggles my mind that the first question a complete stranger decides to ask is where I came from without even knowing who I am.

Who knows? Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just reading too deep into it. But the question remains for the masses. Why the hell do you care? No offense, but I'd much rather you buy your things and move on than grill me for my life story, just because I don't have CANADIAN etched onto my forehead. Yes, I do have brown skin. Clearly, I must come from somewhere other than here, right? Seems a little racist, no? My nationality does not define me as person, nor should yours. It's not where I come from that makes me, well, me. Ask the real questions and you would find that I'm a horrible patriot. My nationality doesn't matter, because I hate hockey, can't drink precious Tim Horton's swill, and have an undeniable loathing for the cold. I would rather be anywhere but here.

"What's your background?"
What are you, a Cop? Why does it matter where I come from? Shouldn't it just matter that I'm here? Are you so obsessed with race that you have to accost a random stranger with your curiosities? Will it change your decision to waste your money on gambling and junk foods? Will you sleep better at night knowing that my black father was born in England? Or that my great grandmother was born in Jamaica? Will you somehow walk out of here a stronger, more knowledgeable person?

I might be derailing a bit here. However, I'm sure some of you readers have come across these questions too. Maybe you indulge these people "Oh, mum was Cuban.....Dad was Canadian." Maybe you start going down the family tree "My great, great, great grandfather was born in France so I must be like 1/10th Parisian"


Close your mouth, look deep into your verbal assailant's eyes and reply simply with, "I'm human. And so are you." And watch as your prolific statement blisters their soul, their mouth slacks with horror and they roam off to contemplate their own existence.

Because what's the point of a stupid question, if not for your own personal entertainment.

You've just been subjected to a Rant in the Key of Darkness.
You're welcome,


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