Rants in the Key of Darkness 2 | 04-20-2015

This was gonna be a rant about sheeple and the douchebags that herd them, but I've got a bone to pick.

Apple.

Bite me!

Seriously.

...

Maybe I should explain.

I've been an Apple advocate for over a decade now, ever since the first iPod Classic I got became my musical weapon of choice. Loads of space, great playback features, and an incredibly interactive searching tool: The Click Wheel. My love, my life, my friend. With several remodels and upgrades, not only was it a force to be reckoned, but it reigned supreme over anything else on the market. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I haven't left home without one since 2008. We had a good run.

Late 2014, Apple announced that they were discontinuing the production of the iPod Classic. And of course, it immediately became hipster fuel. Beyond being damn near impossible to find, the ones that you do manage to locate are marked up on sites like E-bay for 4 times their original asking price. Evidently, Apple has made the decision to stick by their own adage "If it ain't broke, try to fix it anyway because smaller, with far less space and useless touch features must be way better."

You're wrong. Dead wrong. You had a technological marvel and you just shat all over it.

You can imagine I'm not very pleased. Even more-so since some ass-hat in a truck decided that it'd be funny to slush me on the side walk this winter. While my old faithful iPod still works, it won't connect to a computer. And it will die eventually. After that, there are no good options for me. No music player on the market compares now. And I will never in my lifetime spend money for some shit tier, 64gb touch screen garbage. I want my 160 gigs of pure music action. Hell, it's 2015, I WANT MORE!

I highly doubt Steve Jobs envisioned his company to become this. He wanted all of their products to evolve with the times, to be bigger and better. Not to die off and become relics of a former era. With the technologies we currently have, the iPod Classic could've became something greater than ever before.

I think it goes without saying that I probably won't be an Apple advocate any more. I'm not interested in any of their other iShit. The classic was the last hold out for me. When it died, so did my loyalty. I have no need for any of their products as none of them fit my current needs. Which is quite sad, because if I'm feeling this way, then I definitely can imagine that I'm not the only one.

Don't even get me started on their up and coming iWatch, the latest in what I'm sure will be a long line of cash grabs. Boasting a $10,000+ price point for presale, this little device barely does what most current smart-watches can do, for a fraction of the cost. The company is no longer relying on their prowess, but rather their brand. In my opinion, without a worthy captain, the ship is sinking. The mighty have truly fallen, and now is the time to look to the horizon, and hopefully find a great newcomer to fill the void.

I'll be waiting.

You've just been subjected to a Rant in the Key of Darkness.

You're welcome,

-Darkness

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